Give me all the bacon and eggs that you have. I will cook the eggs on the stove. Then, I’ll cook the bacon with this new gadget called the “Bacon Express.”
Invented by Nostalgia Electrics, the machine toasts your bacon without you flipping it once or burning yourself from the grease flying out of the pan. According to their website, it’s much healthier to cook bacon this way since much of the grease drips off. (Then again, what’s the difference between a lot of fat and enormous amounts of fat? I’ll let you be the judge.)
This is like a George Foreman grill but specifically for bacon.
The bacon is placed on a cooking rack in the middle of the toaster, where up to six slices of heaven can be draped. There’s a setting for you to adjust the cook time based how thick your bacon is. Then, you close up the grill, sit back, and smell the bacon-flavored roses (not to be confused with beef jerky roses). Once done, the handles are cool enough for you to open the grill and devour the bacon.