There were NO bids on EBay for the Official North Carolina state helicopter, which is being sold because it isn't being used much anymore.  This may be because:

12. People don't buy helicopters on EBay.

11. If #12 isn't true (and I've never bought anything on Ebay, so I don't know if it is or not), they would want to have more than one choice of day to come down and look at the thing.  They didn't.

10. The starting bid was $1.5 million.

9. Lord knows what (insert Governor of your choice) got up to in there.

8. It was being sold in "as-is" condition.  That's not a good state for something that was repeatedly befouled by Mike and Mary Easley.

7. It was being sold in "where-is" condition.  For seven figures, you either bring the damn thing to me, or you take my car home when I fly it outta there myself.

6. It's 16 years-old.

5, 4, 3, 2, and 1. If you think gas for your car is expensive....